The Frustrated Toddler

Parents, if you have been dealing with tantrums and aggressive behavior with your toddler lately that is normal, here are a few notes on how to deal with the situation and how to help your toddler pass through this stage of development.

        Tantrums are a part of the growing process in a toddler's life. All parents go through it, some more than others. Tantrums are a way of indicating frustration or anger that the toddler is experiencing but can't fully express. The problem with tantrums is that, if as a parent you give in, they become a common occurrence. This is especially so in the case of tantrums which involve lots of kicking, hitting, biting, and other such behavior that could injure the parent, the toddler, or an onlooker. Toddler breath holding and toddler door slamming are probably the two most common types of tantrums.

Stay Calm

         When your toddler is slamming doors, holding his breath, or screaming and kicking, it is easy to lose your temper. Your toddler is probably experiencing great confusion and frustration during the tantrum. Yelling at him will only aggravate him or scare him, prolonging the tantrum. This time due to fear more than anything else. It is essential to stay calm and maintain authority during such situations. Your toddler needs to know you are the boss.

Be Firm but Reassuring

          Parents have a hard time dealing with toddlers throwing violent tantrums. What you need to do is be firm but reassuring. Don't give in to the tantrum, but try to calm the toddler down. Studies have shown the benefits of human touch; try to gather your toddler in a warm hug. Talk to him rationally while holding him. Explain that you understand why he is angry. Then explain why he shouldn't be angry. Sometimes putting his feeling into words is all he needs to calm down.

Re-direct Attention

          One way to temper down a tantrum is to redirect the toddler's attention from the trigger to something interesting. Stories and toys work as excellent distraction devices. If the toddler is in the midst of a full-blown tantrum, chances are toys won't deter him/her. In such a case, leave the room for a few minutes. He will calm down himself.

It's Not OK to Hit

          Kids don't understand how disruptive or harmful their tantrums can be. They use these as a means to gather attention. At times it's the only way they can communicate. It is important to educate your toddler about such behavior being wrong. You have to teach him that it is not OK to hit another person. If left unchecked it can develop into a serious problem in the child's playgroups. Differentiate between good behavior and bad behavior; good actions and bad actions; and good words like please and thank you.

-Toddler Teacher