Independence Among Children

The children are at a transitional age during which they learn more about their abilities and how to apply them to their lives and the world around them. Montessori education places great importance on the role of adults as facilitators of a child’s development. Concentration, which we turned our attention to last month, is an important precursor to the confidence children build while engaging in activities in which they learn what they are capable of doing themselves. 

Maybe you’ve noticed lately that your son or daughter has been telling you they don’t want help with a task and would like to complete it themselves. This is increasingly common at their age and is good, natural, and normal. 

It’s important to understand what encouraging independence in your little one is and what it is not. The point is not to “toughen them up” or to teach them anything by rote. It is a chance for them to discover and revel in the joy of being able to exercise their mental and physical powers. To this end, we try to maximize encouragement and safe supervision while minimizing direct interference. While we know most parents are not Montessori teachers, they can learn to apply the same principles at home and help their children gain confidence at their own pace. This article is a good introductory primer on how to do this, but here are a few basic pointers to help you begin;

• Start by observing what your child does when you haven’t given them any specific directions. Notice how they perceive and interact with their surroundings. 
• If they wish to accomplish something but don’t have the necessary implements, try to provide them with that as unobtrusively as possible and with minimum instruction. Encouragement is, of course, fine. 
• To the extent you need to give instruction, consider doing so by showing an example rather than telling.
• Avoid phrases like “wrong” or “bad” in correcting errors in favor of exemplifying the correct way to perform the task.
• Don’t hesitate to ask a child to participate in household tasks such as setting the table or straightening a shelf.