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I would like to share with you an experience I had with the children out on the playground one day. A group of children were playing together when one of them decided to approach a random friend and hit him hard on the face. The friend who was hit not only got hurt but he was in a total shock. I approached both children to see if they were okay and to find out what actually happened. Neither one of them were able to explain to me the reason as to why the incident occurred. At that point, the friend who was hurt was very upset and the friend who hit was in distress.
During pick up time, I've explained to the parent of the child who hit about the incident that day and also explained that I was un-able to get a clear explanation from both children with regards to the whole story. I then asked for the parent to talk with their child at home to see if the child will be able to explain to them what happened. Later on, the parent told me that their child said he and his friends were simply playing "good guys and bad guys." They've decided to catch the "bad guys" and unfortunately the random friend who was standing nearby to where they were playing unknowingly got caught in their game.
Now, how do you explain that to the child? It is easy to simply say "Don't hit your friends" or "Don't play that game and be nice to your friends" however, how can we help the child truly understand what occurred? The child was not aiming to purposely hurt the friend but to simply play a game which came from his imagination. An imagination which was led by fantasy. There is nothing wrong with fantasy and having an imagination but if a child can't distinguish the difference between reality and fantasy it extremely affects his imagination.
Maria Montessori wrote,"the true basis of the imagination is reality, and its perception is related to exactness of observation, it is necessary to prepare children to perceive the things in their environment exactly, in order to secure for them the material required by the imagination. Further, the exercise of the intelligence, reasoning within sharply defined limits, and distinguishing one thing from another, prepares a cement for imaginative constructions; because these are the more beautiful the more closely they are united to a form, and the more logical they are in the association of individual images. The fancy which exaggerates and invents coarsely does not put the child on the right road." (Spontaneous Activity in Education p 254, Chap IX)
The mind of a young child seeks reality. It is the foundation of his understanding of the world. If we let him live in fantasy and fill his world with illusion which his mind cannot possibly grasp at this point of his life, then what are we doing to the child?
I had a child in my class before who believed that carpets fly. That somehow all carpets are magical and they can fly just like the one Aladdin rides on. There was also another child who trembled in fear every time he did something wrong thinking Sauron, from the Lord of the Rings, would come and scoop him up with his dragon. Then recently, we have a friend who didn't want to come in to the classroom because he said that there were aliens in his friends and he was terrified that his eyes were changing colors.
I, personally like to watch movies that are fantasy. The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, Star Wars, and every Marvel movie you can think of are just a few of my favorite. Superman is my number one super hero, but I am an adult. My mind is capable of telling the difference of, and understanding what I am seeing. Some of these movies may came out in my dreams though the worst thing that can happen is that they may came out as nightmares. Yet, for a young child's mind, when we fill it up with fantasy, we are causing far more damage than you can ever imagine.
Maria Montessori through observation discovered and said, "by introducing concepts and images that had no basis in true reality the child could be misled into illusions and these illusions had nothing to ground them. Instead of extending understanding and learning possibilities fantasies could inhibit the child's natural development. She did not come to this conclusion purely from a theoretical perspective but after closely observing hundreds of children under her care. Again and again she saw that children were drawn to work purposefully, to activities that were meaningful to them, and that it was this contact with reality that had a transformative effect on their behavior. Early on in her work she provided children with all the traditional toys and fairy tales. It was her subsequent observations of the children's own choices of activity that made her question whether such things were actually serving their developmental needs. "If I were against fairy tales, it was not because of a capricious idea, but because of certain facts, facts observed many times. These facts come from the children themselves and not from my own reasoning." (The Child, Society and the World p.45, Chap III).
As adults, our sole responsibility is to guide and lead the child. He looks up to us and depend on us. We have the power to make things right or wrong for him. Trust me when I say that there will be time when you can enjoy the world of fantasy with your child but now is just not the right time for his development.
Your child is an amazing human being and he needs a foundation based on reality to ground him. If you explain to your child the reason why Darth Vader wears what he wears I don't think your child will jump with joy. For those who don't know- spoiler alert- he was burned alive and the only way he can survive is to wear his iconic gear.
As parents, we know our child more than anyone. We do the best thing that we can for them because we love them. We have the power to make a difference and I know we can make a better choice.
Finally, I'll leave you with this quote. "With great power comes great responsibility." - Benjamin Parker (a.k.a. Spider-Man's Uncle)
-Miss Vicki, Bumblebee Teacher
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