Getting into a Drop-Off Routine

Sometimes, after an extended break, it can be challenging to get back into the routine of things.  The first day of school after a long vacation can bring about a re-occurrence of separation anxiety for some children. Sometimes, your attitude as a parent can play a deciding role in the child's outlook and approach to starting school.  Remember, separation anxiety is a phase, it is perfectly natural, and it will pass.

Here are some quick tips to make things easier:

         Make the goodbye prompt and positive. This sounds easy, but can often be one of the most difficult things to do. Giving your child "one more minute" or staying to work on a puzzle together simply prolongs the inevitable. As a parent, the best thing you can do is give your child a hug and kiss, say, "I love you" and reassure him/her that you will be back soon.

         Establish a goodbye routine. Preschoolers crave routine and Montessori parents who establish a consistent goodbye routine usually have better luck with successful goodbyes. I have seen parents use a secret handshake with their child or a secret hand gesture. Other parents kiss their child on the forehead or offer a reassuring thumbs-up or rub noses with their child. By giving your child something he can count on, he is likely to go to school much more willingly and that special moment between the two of you is a great way to start the day and provide that sense of reassurance.

         Trust your child's teacher. We have chosen this profession because we love children and they have a wealth of ideas and strategies to help settle a child who is feeling upset. The strategies might involve anything from a nurturing hug, redirection, pairing them up with another student, or simply keeping the child close until he/she is ready to engage with an activity. 

         Acknowledge how your child is feeling. It is important to accept and respect your child's temporary unhappiness as it is very real and very normal. Say things like "I know you feel sad when Mommy leaves, but you will have a good time, and I will be back very soon." Avoid the temptation to pressure your child not to cry or to offer bribes for "good behavior". Learning to cope with sadness is an important learning process for your child.

         Ask for help. Sometimes stepping back from the drop-off routine can make a huge difference in how your child reacts. Often, a child who experiences separation anxiety with one parent is absolutely fine if the other parent does the drop-off. You could also try having another relative, close friend or grandparent give it a try for a few days.

         Do not linger. As a parent, I know how reassuring it can be to stay to peek at your child through the window. However, for the child, it can be pure torture. As a child, seeing your parent when you are upset, but not being able to be with your parent is not a good feeling. My suggestion to parents is to leave quickly and if you are feeling uneasy, call the school in 15-20 minutes to ask how your child is doing. Chances are, he/she settled within a few minutes.

         Stay calm and be enthusiastic. Modeling the appropriate behavior is key to a smooth transition from home to Montessori classroom, so try very hard to ensure your child does not sense your anxiety. Talk about how much fun Montessori preschool will be, talk about her friends and classmates. Discuss the different work she might want to choose and reinforce how lucky she is to have such a special school and that you cannot wait to hear about her day when you pick her up.

         Always be on time. Arriving late can often spark separation anxiety because your child can sense that you are stressed.  Children often get anxious when rushed, so do your best to give your child extra time in the morning to get ready and to arrive at school on time with the group. 

I hope some of these tips will work for you!  Thanks so much!

-Primary Teacher (references montessoritraining.blogspot.com)