“I Want a Dress!!”

There is much love and peace spread among all of us in the world as families and friends come together in the spirit of celebration.  Every year, in our last newsletter, I try to convey to parents to avoid buying electronic gifts for their children however, this year, I would like to write about something different.  Something in a line of giving and receiving.  It was a conversation that I had with the older children in our classroom Thursday afternoon that inspired me to write about it. 

As the children and I were chatting and finishing up wrapping our holiday gifts for you, we were all talking about our favorite holiday of the year.  We all agreed that it was Christmas.  One of the girls then said, "I like Christmas because I get lots and lots of presents."  There was nothing wrong with that.  She was only stating the obvious and what made her feel happy.  As parents, we all work hard in providing and giving everything we can to our children.  It was just right.  However, it made me think about what do we want our children to see?

I had a conversation a while ago with a parent.  The mother was expressing her frustration about her daughter always wanting new things.  She told me how she couldn't understand where that need was coming from.  She said that she wanted her child to know the importance of sharing and giving yet, her child seems to have become quite the opposite of what she hoping for.  This was also the same parent who told me that her house was like a museum filled with antiques and rare collections of art. 

Now, I am not shaming this parent at all.  I simply wanted to share what she went through as I too had a similar experience with my daughter just a few weeks ago.  My daughter and I were at the store purchasing some household items.  I usually tell her ahead of time what we are going to do, where we are going, and if there's anything specific that we are going to get at the store.  This process seems to help my daughter better understand our task and we can spend time shopping both peacefully and swiftly.  Yet, this time was different.  Even after talking to my daughter and preparing her, she threw a full tantrum and screamed at me through the cashier stating that "she wanted a dress!"  My daughter, who was at the age of 3, had a full adult-sized closet filled with her dresses.  She has so many clothes that I have to replace my husband's clothes from our dresser with hers. 

That tantrum was because of me.  I did this to her.  And without much thinking beyond, "I love my child and I want to give her everything nice I see," this was the result.  The people at the store and even the cashier were probably thinking "woman, just buy your child a dress!" but no.  My daughter was miserable because of what I'd done and I felt terrible as she couldn't understand why I wouldn't buy her a dress this time when before whenever we are at the store I got her one.  Upon realizing what I'd done I wanted to cry.  It was an awful feeling but after that, I made it my goal to better understand her and find a balance between her needs and my want.  It's not going to be easy for sure but I know I can do it. 

Just like the parent I wrote above, I too want my daughter to know the importance of sharing and giving.  And to do this, I believe showing her is a start.  Who knows what kind of a person she will become later on in life but I am only hopeful that whenever she happily agrees in sharing and donating her belongings to others, or that when she wants a turn in handing money to strangers who need something to eat, or when she asks us why we buy other things and extra food even for animals to hand out to those who need it most, that these things will resonate within her and help her aspire to be a better person.   

I can not make my daughter turn into the perfect individual I would like for her to become, I can only hope and show her the goodness in me.  Just like Mahatma Gandhi's famous quote '

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.' 

Ms. Vicki, Bumblebee Teacher