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As I prepare to leave for the AMI conference where we will go over many aspects of Montessori philosophy, practice, materials, goals, future, etc, I felt compelled to share a little about things outside of the classroom that are just as important. It is the role of the parent. The old saying of "the parent is the child's first teacher" couldn't be more true. You are their first experience as they entered into the world. You are who feeds their soul, intellect, humanity, and capacity. Your role is far more vital than mine. I care for your child at school, and I can give them my knowledge and experience in a controlled environment, however, it is you who aids them through life. As we talk about the 'prepared environment" of school, so should your prepared environment of home be just as important. I wrote the following a few years ago, but in this past week, the idea of HOME being an important place for a child's development has been brought up many times. I hope you can find some of this helpful.
There is a very crucial stage in which children need to be at home or a home-like environment which provides the necessary activities to become independent. They need to be comfortable and know where things are. If their environments are to be changing daily there is no structure and therefore no routine. Children like to have order and they actually crave it. They like to know where their things are and where things belong. They like to know what is expected of them, to have a routine, to have some discipline, and to become confident in that environment. Many changes and constant change sometimes leave children lacking confidence in their environment and therefore their abilities. It is the age between 18 months and 3/4 that we must provide structure so that as they grow older they can become accustomed to changes since they become confident in who they are and what they are capable of.
I'm not saying that we must be locked up in our homes and stay here all the time. Not at all. Children should become part of our daily lives and activities. They should go to the grocery store and see the things we buy for our meals, they should become part of that process and allowed to help. They should go to the library and pick out their books and hand the library card and put the return books in the bin. We need to help children become part of a daily routine which is meaningful to them.
However, instead of constantly taking children to the playground, park, children's museums, jump houses, aka child-oriented activities solely, we deny them of the opportunity to learn and grow. All of a sudden as they age, we expect them to know how to put their clothes on and to be toilet-trained but never giving them the opportunities along the way to develop these skills slowly. Toilet training should not happen in a week or so, it is a gradual process and one that requires clean up, knowing how to change out of wet clothes, put them into something, and to find new clothes to change into.
The stable home environment (or daycare/preschool) allows children to be active and productive if it is set up in such a way. They can explore and discover many new things, and they can exercise their skills consistently. Knowing that they must sit down to eat a meal, clean up, wipe up, sweep, carry dishes to the sink, or dishwasher; these are all things you can do in a stable environment and not in a park. Often when we are out, foods are finger foods, hands are not washed, utensils are not used, and dishes are plastic bowls or sippy cups. This will happen, this happens when you have a picnic, and that's great, it's healthy to get out and to do something different, but for this to be a daily routine is not helping children develop proper habits. Prior to the age of 2, food plays a central role in their lives. It provides for many sensory experiences. I loved Michael Pollen's statement when he said that what distinguishes humans from animals is that we eat food, and not feed. There is a social aspect to food beyond the need to fill our stomachs. The idea of fast food, and eating on the go is predominant an American thing, but now we've just adapted it to eating "healthy" food on the go; juice boxes, milk boxes, goldfish, carrot sticks, string cheese, etc.
Steps and Stages: Help children in small steps. As young as 15-18 months, let children do 1 or two things and then gradually help them build up. Show them how to do something and then allow them to do it as they can, but be mindful in how many steps it takes. The fewer the better. As a child grows older 2,3, 4, 5, etc, add on more challenges and give them more opportunities to contribute to the welfare of the home.
When my first child was born, one of the first things my mom said was how her mother said, 'Children love to be at home'. I thought she was crazy. Over the years I see how my children love to stay home and play, they love to play with all the tupperware, my shoes, put random stuff in a push cart and go in circles, take all the plates and cups and have a "tea party" in the middle of the floor. When we come back from a trip, no matter what time even late at night, they perk up and go running around looking at all their things.
So, in my experience, and for my kids, they love being at home at certain times, and then there are times we like to go out. This is our family, of course yours is different.
A few things to practice at home:
- washing hands/ face (get rid of those paper towels and wipes! it's all contributing to trash)
- sitting down together for meals
- organizing each child's clothes so they can pick out what they need
- blowing their noses
- changing their clothes and shoes (be patient and give them the time they need!)
- washing dishes (yes, they do it at school)
- eating on their own with utensils and not "finger foods"
- cook a meal together once a week (they help at school, they can at home)
- play on their own at least for 20 min at a time and more as they get older
- turn off the water, lights, and use less disposable things. (we are teaching conservation at school)
-Caterpillar Teacher
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