Toilet Learning Vs. Toilet Training: Part One

Toilet learning differs from Toilet training. Child toilet training is something that is adult directed; toilet learning is when the child is involved in their own learning. Toilet training may involve a time pressure on your child which seems to be a quick fix but may have consequences.

 

Toilet training involves an attitude of having to do it now because the adult chooses so. The difference between toilet learning and toilet training is the adult's attitude which can make a big difference for the child.

 

Toilet learning starts with readiness signs, and is not learned through a reward system. Toileting is a skill that needs to be learned; it cannot be taught overnight. The key to toilet learning is teaching, not training, the child. Learning on their own is reward enough for them to be able to independently help themselves in remaining clean or not soiling themselves.

       

Allow the child to learn on their own with a bit of support and help from the adult with the use of toilet training pants and clothes they can independently put on themselves. Toilet learning is linked to the child's self-esteem, so genuine verbal praise is important. There are no 'accidents' during toilet learning, only lessons. Language also plays a big part in keeping a positive attitude with toilet learning.

 

 

It is important to decide if you are ready to commit to the process and all it entails. This could include loads of washing, wet or soiled carpets and what people may think if you child is not toilet ready by a certain age. More often than not it requires months of learning for the child and it is important to have and maintain a positive attitude and avoid putting a time period or the age you wish your child to be toilet trained. It is possible that children will develop manipulative actions regarding toileting (e.g. wetting self on purpose) if they believe it will affect your behavior.

 

Every child is different and toilet ready at a different age, these are some tips to help the process and explain the rationale behind the method. However, it is up to you which toilet learning or toilet training approach you think suits you, your child and your lifestyle.

 

       

The Montessori approach to toilet learning is to begin at birth and by using cloth diapers. Once the child is walking they transition into cloth underpants, wearing underpants at this stage in the child's development also aids movement as diapers can be restrictive. The child will sit on the pot or small toilet when they wake in the morning, awake from naps, before and after all meals, before and after excursions and before bed. It is central to the approach that babies are kept in natural cotton or soft wool diapers or underpants.

 

Disposable diapers draw moisture away from the skin rapidly, whereas underpants allow the child to feel the moisture and learn to recognize the result of urinating (the wet sensation). The children then learn to associate this sensation to the result of being wet instead of conflicting results as experienced in disposable diapers.

 

When your child is still young, make it a habit to change their diaper when they have been soiled so he/she does not get used to the feeling of being soiled but being always clean. Soon, they will be used to the clean feeling that if they are soiled they will let you know in some way.

 

All children are put on the potty after each diaper change. Often they feel the sensation of urinating or passing a bowel motion but don't feel the end product because of super-absorbent disposable diapers. A child is physiologically ready to use the toilet at 12 months but with the use of disposable diapers a child usually starts at two to two and a half years old. Introducing a potty as young as 12 months to just to get the child used to it as a part of toileting routine, before the power struggle starts, or as we say in the under threes movement: the crisis of self-affirmation (tantrums). It doesn't take long to associate the potty with regularly urinating once they feel the potty under their body. They are not yet toilet trained but they're definitely going through the process of learning.

 

The regular use of the potty allows the children to become familiar and comfortable with both the toilet and potty. It is a positive experience and the children enjoy exploring the environment. This allows the children the freedom of movement so that they can teach themselves to move on and off the potty/toilet at their own learning pace, additionally this allows the child to be more independent.

 

 

We recommend that all clothing be two piece set during this learning process. The bottoms should be elastic waist allowing the child to independently pull up their own trousers/skirt. Also this allows the child to pull down their clothes quickly if they need to use the toilet urgently. There are toilet training pants that can be bought that are made of thick fabrics or terry toweling so the moisture is absorbed but still lets the child feel the wetness.

 

Underwear needs to be cotton and elastic should not cut off any circulation, be sure to buy appropriate sized underwear to allow for ease of dressing the self. Plastics are plastic covers placed over underpants and are used for outdoor play they will sometimes protect clothing form getting wet but still allow the child to feel the sensation.

 

For Part Two of Toilet Learning, go here.

 

–Miss Cristina, Ladybug Teacher