Why, Why, Why?

I was thinking of you all this morning as I was taking a leisurely stroll to the office with two of my very sweet yet very inquisitive children. You know the type. The never-ending “why, why, why, why” type. I truly believe it consists of 75% curiosity and 25% subconscious knowledge that it will eventually drive the adult batty. As I was randomly spitting out answers that would satisfy their curiosity yet entertain me I realized that I have been giving out a lot of answers lately. Although answers are easy to dole out, they don't really help the child to build the skill or the confidence needed to problem solve when an adult isn't around to tell them what to do. I recently read a short but sweet article by Dr. Jane Bluestein that focused specifically on the benefits of asking questions instead of giving answers. Here are just a couple.

• Questions help children explore the dimensions of a problem.

• Questions help children explore their available options.

• Questions help children identify their goals and intentions.

• Questions draw solutions from the child.

• Questions communicate your trust in the child’s ability to solve a problem.

• Questions place the responsibility for finding a solution on the child.

• Questions allow you to help the child anticipate probable outcomes of various choices, helping her evaluate the choices she has.

• Questions build confidence and independence in problem-solving.

To sum it up, asking questions instead of giving answers helps you act as a guide rather than a rescuer. It puts shifts the responsibility to the child and allows them to become problem solvers. Imagine the learning your child can experience when you ask questions like, “How would you like your friend to treat you?” “What have you already tried?” “What else can you do?” “What might happen if you do that?” “How will you feel if that happens?” or “What else can you do?” Compare this process to what she learns when you simply say, “Well, just ignore her,” or “Go play with somebody else.” Even though a solution might be quite evident to you, there is great value in your child exploring the problem and possible solutions with you as her guide!

-Grasshopper Teacher