Core Development Skills in the Montessori Classroom

Summer is just around the corner, and going for a nature walk with your children every Friday is lots of fun for them. You can go to the library and let your Toddler pick out some books. Play outside and enjoy the world's wonders through your children's eyes; they are curious and enjoy observing nature and the living creatures there. Watching an ant or a worm is a scientific adventure for a Toddler!

The children continue to work on their social skills and ability to follow the classroom limits. We believe in natural and logical consequences as opposed to punishment. Conflict resolution and respect for the environment (both physical and environmental) are also essential aspects of our approach, for it is one of our ultimate goals that our students do the right thing, not because they will be punished if they don't, but because they don't want to affect the people and world around them adversely. 

Teaching these concepts takes years to impart through developmentally appropriate experiences and methods in actual Montessori environments.

Since toddler-age children have problems understanding the ramifications of their behavior, we use diversion. If diversion doesn't work, we promptly remove the child from the problem (unless danger is present) and then remove the child immediately). 

Once the child is old enough to understand the ramifications of his behavior, we teach them to think about how they are behaving and how that behavior will affect others and the things around them. To do this, we tell the child that a particular behavior is inappropriate because it will hurt others, break things, etc…

Suppose the child continues the behavior. The Teacher will say, "If you continue to … (yell, throw...), you will lose the privilege to continue with that activity because we don't... (hurt, break, throw...)

Suppose the child continues the behavior. The Teacher will then say, "You have lost the privilege to …. because even though I have asked you to stop, you have not respected my wishes and the needs of your friends." 

The child is then removed from the situation. Of course, this is only in non-dangerous situations; if a child is in immediate danger, the behavior must be stopped immediately. 

Notice that young children are not forced to say "sorry." That is because, all too often, children get the idea that "sorry" is like a "get out of jail free card." 

For example:

Children are playing, and Johnny hits Jose's nose:

Johnny is told, "Say sorry!"

Johnny says, "Sorry," and then is told he is a good boy.

What has Johnny learned? Mainly that saying "Sorry" gets him out of trouble. He doesn't learn compassion or responsibility for his actions. So, in Montessori schools, teaching a child to say he is "sorry" is reserved when the child feels terrible for his actions. 

An important thing about not forcing a child into saying "sorry" is that the behavior CANNOT be allowed to continue. Just because a child may be too young to understand the consequences of his actions does not mean that, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, they should be allowed to continue the hurtful or destructive behavior.

After a child knows the rules, they aren't given chances repeatedly. If a child can say something like, "You've only given me two chances; I can't lose the privilege until I've abused it three times." The child doesn't need any more chances; he's just trying to get away with things he knows he is not supposed to do.

Around six years old, children become very aware of "truth and justice." The Montessori classroom uses their desire for fairness by teaching them to think before they act and to look at the big picture. Children who, when they were younger, were told, "I won't let you throw the materials because they will break." Are now asked, "Why don't we throw materials?" In this way, we help them learn to think about the ramifications of their behavior. Now natural and logical consequences are used whenever possible. For example, cleaning up messes they made, fixing or working to replace broken materials, being unable to play or work with children with whom they have been hurtful or mean, working during recess because they played during work time, etc.

Notice that we shy away from punishment. Punishment would be forcing a child to write or copy sentences from the dictionary because they didn't complete their homework or said mean things. Punishment only teaches children not to do something out of fear of punishment, not out of the greater good. Additionally, using something like extra work or the dictionary as punishment makes the child associate such things as "punishment" instead of the beautiful and exciting tools and activities they are. 

We do not believe in rewarding appropriate behavior with stickers and stars. We believe that external rewards such as these create motivation that can lead to passive adults dependent on others for everything from their self-image to the permission to follow their dreams. Instead of rewards, we teach children to reflect upon their behavior and its influence on the world around them. By teaching children to be proud of their accomplishments, instead of the praise and approval of others, they learn to find their rewards within themselves. Who wouldn't want that for our little ones?
 

-Beetle Teacher